Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to.
At rest on a stair landing,
They feel it
Moving beneath them now like the deck of a ship,
Though the swell is gentle.
And deep in mirrors
They rediscover
The face of the boy as he practices tying
His father's tie there in secret
And the face of that father,
Still warm with the mystery of lather.
They are more fathers than sons themselves now.
Something is filling them, something
That is like the twilight sound
Of the crickets, immense,
Filling the woods at the foot of the slope
Behind their mortgaged houses.
✦
Analysis
Men At Forty: analysis
Introduction
Men at Forty is a short free-verse poem about reaching middle age. It describes, in the third person, what men learn and feel at forty. They close doors on rooms they will not return to. They sense the ground moving gently under them. In mirrors they see both the boy they were and the father they have become.
The poem does not state its feelings directly. It works through a few quiet images: a door, a ship's deck, a mirror, the sound of crickets. Together these build a picture of a turning point, where youth is behind and something larger and darker is gathering.
Summary
The first stanza says that men at forty learn to close doors softly. These are doors to rooms they will not be "Coming back to."
In the second stanza the men rest on a stair landing. They feel something moving beneath them, like the deck of a ship. The swell, the poem adds, is gentle, not violent or sudden.
The third stanza turns to mirrors. Deep in them, the men rediscover the face of a boy. The boy is practising tying his father's tie in secret.
The fourth stanza continues the mirror scene. The men also see the face of that father, "Still warm with the mystery of lather." They are now more fathers than sons. Something, the stanza says, is filling them.
The fifth stanza names what that something is like. It resembles the twilight sound of crickets, "immense." The sound fills the woods at the foot of the slope behind their "mortgaged houses."
Themes and meaning
The central theme is the passage into middle age as a series of quiet endings. The opening image of doors closed "softly" suggests choices and chances left behind. The rooms are ones "they will not be" returning to, as line 4 completes it. The men do not slam these doors. They have learned to accept the closing.
A second theme is the sense of instability beneath an outwardly settled life. On the stair landing the men feel the floor move "like the deck of a ship." The movement is mild, "Though the swell is gentle." A stair landing is a pause halfway between floors, which fits a life at its midpoint.
A third theme is the inheritance between fathers and sons. In the mirror the men see a boy secretly trying on his father's tie. They also see the father himself, shaving. Line 15 sums up the shift: "They are more fathers than sons themselves now." The mirror holds three generations of the same role.
A fourth theme is mortality, approached indirectly. "Something is filling them" is never named. It is likened to the "twilight sound" of crickets, and twilight suggests the end of a day. The poem can be read as sensing death, or simply the fullness of age. The last line grounds this in ordinary adult life, "Behind their mortgaged houses."
Tone
The tone is calm, reflective and gently melancholy. The speaker observes the men from outside, always calling them "they." This distance gives the poem a quiet, almost clinical steadiness.
The words chosen are soft: "softly," "At rest," "gentle." Nothing is dramatic or loud. Even loss is handled tenderly, as in the father's face "Still warm with the mystery of lather."
Towards the end the tone deepens. The repeated "something" in line 16 introduces an unnamed pressure. The cricket sound is called "immense," which enlarges the poem's scale. The ending stays understated, but it carries a weight that the opening only hinted at.
Form and structure
The poem has 20 lines in five four-line stanzas. It does not rhyme, apart from the near-rhyme of "father" and "lather" in lines 13–14.
Line lengths vary widely, from 3 to 12 syllables, and there is no regular metre. The verse is free, shaped by phrases rather than beats. Short lines such as "They feel it" and "Coming back to." slow the reading.
Enjambment carries sentences across lines and even across stanzas. The sentence begun in line 16 runs through the whole last stanza. This makes the ending feel like a single long, filling movement.
Poetic devices
Metaphor line 3
The doors to rooms they will not be Rooms stand for parts of life, chances or stages that are now closed off.
Enjambment line 3
they will not be The line breaks before "Coming back to," so the reader pauses on the finality before it is completed.
Simile line 7
like the deck of a ship The settled floor is likened to a moving deck, suggesting life's instability felt underfoot.
Imagery line 11
The face of the boy as he practices tying A specific childhood moment in the mirror shows the boy rehearsing adulthood.
Rhyme line 14
Still warm with the mystery of lather. "lather" chimes with "father" in the line before, the poem's one rhyme, binding memory to the father.
Antithesis line 15
They are more fathers than sons themselves now. The roles of father and son are weighed against each other, marking the shift of generations.
Repetition line 16
Something is filling them, something The repeated "something" stresses that the feeling cannot be named directly.
Auditory imagery line 17
the twilight sound The cricket sound at dusk evokes the close of a day and, by extension, of life.
Concrete detail line 20
Behind their mortgaged houses. The final image ties the large feeling back to ordinary adult burdens and debts.
Words worth knowing
landing
The level platform between flights of stairs, here a place halfway up, like the middle of life.
swell
A slow, rolling movement of the sea, not a breaking wave.
lather
Shaving foam. The father's face is remembered mid-shave.
mortgaged
Bought with a loan secured on the house, so still owed. It hints at obligations that bind middle age.
What readers have said
Joe M reads the closing doors as a reference to death and the crickets as death being part of life, yet finds the poem not wholly negative. Joe M, 2004
Hayes takes the softly closed doors as the mistakes a man sees when he looks back over the years. Hayes, 2005
Jim W, turning forty the next day, reads the gentle swell as the journey towards death only gently beginning. Jim W, 2005
Steven, at 41, reads closing the doors as accepting one's limits and the many things that will not be done again. Steven, 2010
Rosanne Boswell says the poem could equally be about women, and notes that a door closed softly is not a door slammed shut. Rosanne Boswell, 2010
Adam reads it as a passage from sonhood to fatherhood, closing the doors to pleasure and taking on responsibility. Adam, 2023
I think this poem is a realization of the aging process. Also i think the image of "close softly/ the doors," is a reference to death. Also the images at the end of the peom of "crickets" and other things, seem to express that death is a part of life, that aging ulimatly leads to. So overall this poem to me is about the idea that at some point everyone will realize that they are ageing and that death will soon come. However this poem is not totally negative and it makes me feel like daeth is natural and human, and that people should learn to accept both aging and death as a part of life.
HayesUnited States
I think that this poem is talking about as the men grow older he look back on his life and see the mistakes he has made. The phrase close door softly is refering to those mistakes.
McIntoshUnited States
I think the reference to "close softly the doors” is about regrettable choices he made that he can't go back and change. He feels himself getting older and knows that he like all of us is going to die, the part with the crickets I agree with Joe M. that "death is a part of life", we accept it and move on.
I turn 40 tomorrow and came across this poem by accident last night. I like the partial stanza quoted here: "They feel it moving Beneath them now like the deck of a ship, Though the swell is gentle." It suggests to me that 40 is not old (wishful thinking on my part?) but is a point where one must appreciate that the journey to death is gently beginning. My only concern with this interpretation is that mortality was much different in 1967 when the poet wrote this than it is now.
I consider “Men At Forty” to be a reflective and illuminating poem. It invokes a realisation of reaching the fulcrum in life; no matter how far back you go or how far forward, this point of balance indicates achieving wisdom and maturity through experience. Similarly, the person in the poem can comfortably see himself reaching his father – in the mirror he becomes his father. Growing old is not to be feared. It is a…
Read the whole comment
I consider “Men At Forty” to be a reflective and illuminating poem.
It invokes a realisation of reaching the fulcrum in life; no matter how far back you go or how far forward, this point of balance indicates achieving wisdom and maturity through experience.
Similarly, the person in the poem can comfortably see himself reaching his father – in the mirror he becomes his father. Growing old is not to be feared. It is a natural process. And reaching “twilight,” death is obviously a process too.
“To close softly the doors” may refer to the person in the poem whose children are now grown up, or his own childhood imagination that is left behind. Or perhaps God is no longer an option for answers and he closes the door.
Life is continuous. Climbing, descending and then to take stock of the situation like to “rest on a stair landing.” Afterwards, continue on life’s journey as if “on the deck of a ship.”
well, I really like this somber poem of acceptance. I think the closing door thing has to do with how you just don't get as mad about things as you grow older; you realize you can't change anything, it's all futile and you can simply close the door when something fails or someone argues with you, for instance, at 40 than you can as a younger, more passionate or inexperienced person. Though really, I think most people who shut the doors quietly, have always been that kind of person.
william P HannonUnited States
Men at forty
I have this poem for 22 years. I am 61."The moving beneath them now" line, is to me the beginning of loss...both phisical and mental. As another poet once said,sort of, "I rage Against it"
I like this poem because its interesting and from the begnning to the end it talks about the truth. A man young looks in the mirror and imagnes getting older and must deal with getting old.
StevenUnited States
closing softly
To me, at 41, learning to close softly those doors is about learning to accept your limitations, the things that will never be done. When you are young, everything seems possible, maybe too much so. After 40 years, so many things are set, and while you can change some of them, you can't change all of them. So to learn to close softly a door to a room you will not again enter is to accept that there are many things you will not do, will not experience again, will not achieve. That is sad, but in the letting go is also the need and power to define yourself.
What an awesome poem. I have not had the privilege of reading this before. To me, this could also be written, women at forty. There comes a time in our lives when we realize that there are parts of our life, whether dreams unrealized or relationships that have ended, perhaps a life never lived that we will "most likely" not come back to. I say most likely because a door closed softly is different than a door slammed…
Read the whole comment
What an awesome poem. I have not had the privilege of reading this before.
To me, this could also be written, women at forty. There comes a time in our lives when we realize that there are parts of our life, whether dreams unrealized or relationships that have ended, perhaps a life never lived that we will "most likely" not come back to. I say most likely because a door closed softly is different than a door slammed shut.
This is a sad and melancholy poem. Though the poet is standing still, he feels the ground moving beneath him which I equate to time moving on whether or not I want to go with it.
Yes, we look in the mirror and those memories of what we expected our life to be come back to us. There is so much life in the memory, it is so real that we can actually feel the breath of those whom we recall on our skin. Indeed we may be that very person we are remembering. My mother once told me she stood in front of the mirror and said to herself, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all." It was not a happy moment for her but somehow, for her, there was comfort in it.
Behind our mortgaged houses reminds me that there is a life out there that is yet to be lived or better said that we have not lived. It is a life full of vitality, peace and contentment, no regrets. Perhaps for this author at 40, he feels the life he did not choose calling him, beckoning him to join the chorus and live out the harmony beyond the life at hand and yet we are reminded that he has responsibilities for which he must take care. He has a life, and no matter how lonely his life is and how tempting the call to the wild, he must face the stark reality of the life that now stands in front of him.
Steven, now 87, I have loved this poem since I turned 40. I was fortunate to have met Donald Justice at a poetry workshop, and have a treasured inscribed copy of the book which contains this poem. I think your observation is remarkable, and it captures completely the wisdom of this great poem. Thank you.
Adam
"Learn to close softly The doors to rooms they will not be Coming back to"
"More fathers than sons now."
- For me this poem is a reflection on maturity, and describes the movement through the chapters of life. Things we once enjoyed as sons, we have moved on from as fathers. Closing the doors to hedonism, and sensing the quiet weight of responsibility.
The crickets chirping, behind their mortgaged houses.
I think this poem is a realization of the aging process. Also i think the image of "close softly/ the doors," is a reference to death. Also the images at the end of the peom of "crickets" and other things, seem to express that death is a part of life, that aging ulimatly leads to. So overall this poem to me is about the idea that at some point everyone will realize that they are ageing and that death will soon come. However this poem is not totally negative and it makes me feel like daeth is natural and human, and that people should learn to accept both aging and death as a part of life.
I think that this poem is talking about as the men grow older he look back on his life and see the mistakes he has made. The phrase close door softly is refering to those mistakes.
I think the reference to "close softly the doors” is about regrettable choices he made that he can't go back and change. He feels himself getting older and knows that he like all of us is going to die, the part with the crickets I agree with Joe M. that "death is a part of life", we accept it and move on.
I turn 40 tomorrow and came across this poem by accident last night. I like the partial stanza quoted here:
"They feel it moving
Beneath them now like the deck of a ship,
Though the swell is gentle."
It suggests to me that 40 is not old (wishful thinking on my part?) but is a point where one must appreciate that the journey to death is gently beginning. My only concern with this interpretation is that mortality was much different in 1967 when the poet wrote this than it is now.
I consider “Men At Forty” to be a reflective and illuminating poem. It invokes a realisation of reaching the fulcrum in life; no matter how far back you go or how far forward, this point of balance indicates achieving wisdom and maturity through experience. Similarly, the person in the poem can comfortably see himself reaching his father – in the mirror he becomes his father. Growing old is not to be feared. It is a…
Read the whole commentI consider “Men At Forty” to be a reflective and illuminating poem.
It invokes a realisation of reaching the fulcrum in life; no matter how far back you go or how far forward, this point of balance indicates achieving wisdom and maturity through experience.
Similarly, the person in the poem can comfortably see himself reaching his father – in the mirror he becomes his father. Growing old is not to be feared. It is a natural process. And reaching “twilight,” death is obviously a process too.
“To close softly the doors” may refer to the person in the poem whose children are now grown up, or his own childhood imagination that is left behind. Or perhaps God is no longer an option for answers and he closes the door.
Life is continuous. Climbing, descending and then to take stock of the situation like to “rest on a stair landing.” Afterwards, continue on life’s journey as if “on the deck of a ship.”
For me, this poem is one of discovery.
well, I really like this somber poem of acceptance. I think the closing door thing has to do with how you just don't get as mad about things as you grow older; you realize you can't change anything, it's all futile and you can simply close the door when something fails or someone argues with you, for instance, at 40 than you can as a younger, more passionate or inexperienced person. Though really, I think most people who shut the doors quietly, have always been that kind of person.
Men at forty
I have this poem for 22 years. I am 61."The moving beneath them now" line, is to me the beginning of loss...both phisical and mental. As another poet once said,sort of, "I rage Against it"
None
I like this poem because its interesting and from the begnning to the end it talks about the truth. A man young looks in the mirror and imagnes getting older and must deal with getting old.
closing softly
To me, at 41, learning to close softly those doors is about learning to accept your limitations, the things that will never be done. When you are young, everything seems possible, maybe too much so. After 40 years, so many things are set, and while you can change some of them, you can't change all of them. So to learn to close softly a door to a room you will not again enter is to accept that there are many things you will not do, will not experience again, will not achieve. That is sad, but in the letting go is also the need and power to define yourself.
commentary
What an awesome poem. I have not had the privilege of reading this before. To me, this could also be written, women at forty. There comes a time in our lives when we realize that there are parts of our life, whether dreams unrealized or relationships that have ended, perhaps a life never lived that we will "most likely" not come back to. I say most likely because a door closed softly is different than a door slammed…
Read the whole commentWhat an awesome poem. I have not had the privilege of reading this before.
To me, this could also be written, women at forty. There comes a time in our lives when we realize that there are parts of our life, whether dreams unrealized or relationships that have ended, perhaps a life never lived that we will "most likely" not come back to. I say most likely because a door closed softly is different than a door slammed shut.
This is a sad and melancholy poem. Though the poet is standing still, he feels the ground moving beneath him which I equate to time moving on whether or not I want to go with it.
Yes, we look in the mirror and those memories of what we expected our life to be come back to us. There is so much life in the memory, it is so real that we can actually feel the breath of those whom we recall on our skin. Indeed we may be that very person we are remembering. My mother once told me she stood in front of the mirror and said to herself, "Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all." It was not a happy moment for her but somehow, for her, there was comfort in it.
Behind our mortgaged houses reminds me that there is a life out there that is yet to be lived or better said that we have not lived. It is a life full of vitality, peace and contentment, no regrets. Perhaps for this author at 40, he feels the life he did not choose calling him, beckoning him to join the chorus and live out the harmony beyond the life at hand and yet we are reminded that he has responsibilities for which he must take care. He has a life, and no matter how lonely his life is and how tempting the call to the wild, he must face the stark reality of the life that now stands in front of him.
I could go on and on but wow, what a poem.
Steven, now 87, I have loved this poem since I turned 40. I was fortunate to have met Donald Justice at a poetry workshop, and have a treasured inscribed copy of the book which contains this poem. I think your observation is remarkable, and it captures completely the wisdom of this great poem. Thank you.
"Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to"
"More fathers than sons now."
- For me this poem is a reflection on maturity, and describes the movement through the chapters of life. Things we once enjoyed as sons, we have moved on from as fathers. Closing the doors to hedonism, and sensing the quiet weight of responsibility.
The crickets chirping, behind their mortgaged houses.