** NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN! **
Guaranteed to make you laugh out loud, or your money back!
When Eastend orphan Harry discovers his parents were murdered in mysterious circumstances, he sets off on a quest to track down the despicable culprits.
With the help of sex addict Shagrid, mentally challenged Phatt Khunt, seaman Ityeeb Hollux, wizard & chartered accountant Glafnad, and Essex barmaids Chanel, Porsche and Benidorm, he travels through space and time, losing his virginity, and brain, along the way.
The posse’s staggering stupidity creates havoc in all the worlds they visit, including Middle Eartham, Transylvania, The USS Enterprise, the Krapitol in Post-Apocalyptic America, a bondage bedroom, a boat full of ferocious animals, and a land of Zombies, Vampires and Werewolves (of which Harry becomes all three).
But will he ever learn the secret of his parents’ death? And will he ever get the stains out of his underpants?
There's only one way to find out. Ask someone who's read the book!
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
“The worst book ever written.”
Isaac Ummin, the Author
“I can’t believe it’s not Potter!”
Arthur Brain, Cleethorpes Geriatric Gazette
“An exquisitely crafted piece of classic modern literature, that will be passed down through the generations. Oh, I thought you said Harry Potter. No, Harry Pobbit is nothing more than the incoherent, spurious babblings of a madman and I would strongly advise against reading it for the sake of your own mental health."
Shirley Knot, Literary Critic and Supermarket Trolley Retrieval Executive
“This is by far the most bizarre Harry Potter Hobbit Hunger Games Star Trek Life of Pi Alien Twilight Zombie Vampire Werewolf Eastenders spoof I’ve read since lunchtime. I challenge anyone to squeeze more outrageous, ludicrous nonsense into a single novella. ”
Edna Cloud, Wandsworth Knitting Circle
Also by Isaac Ummin:
Crap Day at Shit Creek (and Other Tosh)