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American Poems: Kindle eBooks: 50 Shades of Gray Matter: Book 3 (The Swordsman Series)
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 Home » Kindle eBooks » 50 Shades of Gray Matter: Book 3 (The Swordsman Series)

50 Shades of Gray Matter: Book 3 (The Swordsman Series)

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  • Sales Rank:687,484
  • Format:Kindle eBook
  • Language:English (Published)
  • Media:Kindle Edition
  • Pages:36
  • Publication Date:September 11, 2012
  • ASIN:B0099XL3QY


Editorial Reviews:
Synopsis
This is Book 3.  The COMPLETE 50 Shades of Gray Matter (The Swordsman Series)all five books, are now available in ONE volume on Amazon.  

                                      50 SHADES OF GRAY MATTER
                          A humor/science fiction/zombie apocalypse series

                                               Excerpt from BOOK 3

     Charlie slipped off his Built Tough ball cap and wrung it between his thick, dirt-stained fingers. He nodded to himself slowly.
     "Son, I'm sorry," he said, looking away. "My grandfather fought in the big war, my daddy was in the service and I was over in Laos for two years and lost a lotta good friends and half my foot." He looked briefly to Johnson. "We grumpy old fellers know all about war."
     "And I appreciate that, sir."
     "I just... me, I'm old in my ways and you're, well, over there putting makeup on a grown man and you're all whipping around here with stiff wiggle-sticks, it's just..." He looked over his shoulder to our third Swordsman-- his old friend. "I mean, you haven't gone funny on me, have ya Johnson?"
     "Funny?"
     "You know," he said and walked over. "Like, all nancy-boy or something."
     "You think...?"
Charlie threw his hands up and said, "I don't know nuthin'. But if you've turned queer on me, man, I'd just as soon--"
     "No, Charlie. Jeez!" Johnson said, then pointed to his yellowed eyes. "Look at me. Look at these guys. We're almost undead, we are."
     "What... what do you mean by that?"
     Johnson walked forward, standing shoulder to shoulder next to me.
     "Charlie, I didn't give you the whole picture," he said and banged Chubbs on the shoulder. "The reason we can fight these things, in part, is because we're just like them. We've all been bit-- but we got-- uh, medicine that lets us, well, keep a handle on our humanity."
     Chubbs laughed. "Handle!"
     "You're... you guys are zombies?"
     "Just about," Johnson said. "Hal... the General here calls it 'Near-Zombie.'" He looked at me, swallowed hard, and nodded. "We're The Swordsman. There's just three of us, but we're going to fight those undead nasties until we can't no more."
     Charlie took it all in and was quiet for a full minute.
     Then finally he said:
     "You're, like, zombies... but fightin' for our side."
     Mr. Johnson nodded, "Yep, you got it."
     "And," Charlie added, quieter. "You ain't queer or nothin', then?"
     "No," the oldest Swordsman laughed. "No, we ain't gay. Just undead, homicidal zombies."
     "Alright," Charlie said and reached into his pocket, pulling out a set of keys. "Then, I'm good."
Hitting a button on the small black key chain, we heard a heavy door begin to roll open, deep in the back of the store.
     "You Swordsman follow me," he said. "See if we can even up the odds a little."
     We followed Charlie the Homophobe deeper into the store and ten minutes later we were on our way back to the CDC.

     And, I tell you it's a bit of an understatement when I say that, after we left we had a fair amount of stuff than went "boom."


50 SHADES OF GRAY MATTER is parody, using the elemental themes of the popular E.L. James series and combining them with the impending zombie apocalypse.

As the narrator has, in point of fact, been infected by the ZBF (zombie bird flu) and is gradually turning to join the undead race, each Book will be novelette length-- around 10000 words.

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