Comment 2 of 41, added on May 31st, 2006 at 6:34 PM.
You're missing a good 15 lines to that poem and some changed words, it goes
How wise I am to have instructed the butler
to instruct the first footman to instruct the second
footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage;
I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage.
Just as I know that there are two Hagens, Walter and Copen,
I know that marriage is a legal and religious alliance entered into by a
man who can't sleep with the window shut and a woman who can't sleep with
the window open,
Also he can't sleep until he has read the last hundred
pages to find out whether his suspicions of the
murdered eccentric recluse's avaricious secretary
And she can't sleep until he puts out the light,
Which when he finally does she is still awake and turns on hers,
And if he thinks she's going to turn it off before she finds out whether
Janis marries the shy young clergyman or the sophisticated polo player, he
Moreover, just as I am unsure of the difference between
flora and fauna and flotsam and jetsam,
I am quite sure that marriage is the alliance of two people one of whom
never remembers birthdays and the other never forgetsam,
And the one refuses to believe there is a leak in the water pipe or the gas
pipe and she is convinced she is about to asphyxiate or drown,
And the other says Quick get up and get my hairbrushes off the windowsill,
it's raining in, and the one replies Oh they're all right, it's only
raining straight down.
That is why marriage is so much more interesting than divorce,
Because it's the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable
object and the irresistible force.
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat over
everything debatable and combatable,
Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life,
particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
from United States