Well, I Have Lost You - A poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly; In my own way, and with my full consent. Say what you will, kings in a tumbrel rarely Went to their deaths more proud than this one went. Some nights of apprehension and hot weeping I will confess; but that's permitted me; Day dried my eyes; I was not one for keeping Rubbed in a cage a wing that would be free. If I had loved you less or played you slyly I might have held you for a summer more, But at the cost of words I value highly, And no such summer as the one before. Should I outlive this anguish—and men do— I shall have only good to say of you.

Comment 9 of 11, added on March 15th, 2006 at 3:28 AM.

This poem should resonate with anyone who has felt something regretfully come to an end.

Those incredible lines "kings in a tumbrel rarely
Went to their deaths as proud as this one went", Kings going to execution could not have had more pride than she.

If you know anything of Edna st Vincent's proud/aloof/detatched character [a king's] you can see how she attempted to meet this ending [for her a true internal death/loss] with some semblance of dignity and 'self preservation'.

Indeed she does somehow "in her own way" by giving her "full consent"- she is trying to reduce the injury to her pride.

Asserting the natural freedom in them both,she states "I was not one for keeping rubbed to a cage a wing that would be free" she would not hold to a 'love' that could not be contained or had.

Reflecting that if her feelings were more shallow "If I had loved you less, or played you slyly" she would have been able to go on falsely and conceal her real state or feelings.But at the cost of truth or "words I value highly" adding that such a charade would bear no resemblance to a purer time or "summer before".

She survives her loss to say that "Day dried my eyes" and goes on to suggest that she might "outlive this" that after all "men do".Here she is attempting to have the last word and is both wounded and defiant.

At the end of the poem this sense of self preservation she remarks will allow no bitterness,it will leave only good things "to say of you".

Kaatrien from Australia

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Comment 11 of 11, added on April 1st, 2009 at 3:42 PM.

I to have the same problem, Shilo. I was assigned to dig deep and find the true meaning behind those words, but i have failed to complete this task. If anyone can help please contact me at Cjsqueegie@aol.com. Thank you.

Julie from United States