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Analysis and comments on I Am Not Yours by Sara Teasdale

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Comment 11 of 91, added on November 2nd, 2009 at 5:54 AM.

How interesting this different interpretations- I find myself not agreeing
with any of them, but this only highlights the personal-esoteric nature of

My first thoughts on this poem were of a longing to to be so connected with
a person, to be plunged so 'deep in love' that she is connected, one,
'lost' in the other completely. I'm reminded to Bowlby's attachment theory
categories, in that the persona is deeply ambivilently attached- that is,
she longs to lose herself in the other, but simultaneously fears this
deindividualisation: "Yet I am I, who long to be/
Lost as a light is lost in light."

"As adults, those with an ambivalent attachment style often feel reluctant
about becoming close to others and worry that their partner does not
reciprocate their feelings. This leads to frequent breakups, often because
the relationship feels cold and distant. These individuals feel especially
distraught after the end of a relationship. Cassidy and Berlin described
another pathological pattern where ambivalently attached adults cling to
young children as a source of security (1994).

Perhaps it is unrequited love, perhaps it is a gentle love, perhaps a tame
love on the other's part, and the persona wants it to go deeper.

I also sense deep sexual undertones in the wanting to become one, lost, in
the other person, and similar to Donne's Canonization:
'We're tapers too, and at our own cost die'
fitting in nicely with the ambivalent attachment theme.

J from United States
Comment 10 of 91, added on September 16th, 2009 at 12:15 AM.

Of all Sarah Teasdale's poems, I thing this one is on a higher plateau than
any of her other ones. I think it is one of the most memorable poems of
her time, by any author.
James Walter Orr, poet

James Walter Orr from United States
Comment 9 of 91, added on April 29th, 2007 at 10:07 PM.

i read in a book once that true love starts when being "in love" ends; when
the intense emotion is gone but you still CHOOSE to love someone. maybe
it's that blind passion that sara wants to experience: "yet i am i, who
long to be lost as a light is lost in light" but it's not that she detests
her husband-to-be: "and i find you still a spirit beautiful and bright".
she expected love to be like that, passionate, and i guess her experiences
fell short.

anj from Philippines
Comment 8 of 91, added on March 21st, 2006 at 3:16 PM.

It is so sad. I wonder if somebody forced her to get married?

Salma from United States
Comment 7 of 91, added on February 23rd, 2006 at 8:17 AM.

She isn't saying she wants to be loved, and feel all the passion of love
she is saying she wants to feel love and passion deeper. When she says "Put
out my senses, leave me deaf and blind." She is saying leave me deaf and
blind so I can feel love more deeply. And if you still don't get what I
mean, it's like when one of you senses goes your other ones get stronger,
she wants her heart to be stronger.
Chii, 16 years

Chii from United States
Comment 6 of 91, added on February 20th, 2006 at 10:17 PM.

first of all can anyone here spell? secondly why do you have to analyze
every little detail of the poem? its an excellent poem, and if you are
going to talk about it, at least do it coherently. btw, this poem reminds
me of her other poem, "Alone." same recurring theme.

Joy from United States
Comment 5 of 91, added on October 23rd, 2005 at 10:47 AM.

teasdale is saying that she wants to be loved and to feel all the passion
that goes with love....she also wants to remain her own person and not give
the rest of who she is to anyone....if she were writing in the present day
of womens' lib, many would think this was possible....it may be, it may not
be....she died in the 30's and i think many people today would think she
was ahead of her time but there always were people who had thoughts, many
times hidden, which expressed today's sentiments... most men need women and
most women need men and as long as this remains, which i think is
biological, nothing can really change...

ilene novick from United States
Comment 4 of 91, added on August 24th, 2005 at 6:12 AM.

A very sad poem indeed albeit beautfully written with great feeling. It is
indeed surprising to hear that she wrote this on the night before her
wedding day.

Mac. from South Africa
Comment 3 of 91, added on July 3rd, 2005 at 10:33 AM.

i like your poem it was really good have you ever thought about getting it
put in a book. well any way you should write more and post them.

Comment 2 of 91, added on April 18th, 2005 at 8:36 PM.

do u noe when she wrote this? she wrote this right before her marriage! she
was doomed to be miserable with the doubt of love in her heart

Margaret Min from Taiwan

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Information about I Am Not Yours

Poet: Sara Teasdale
Poem: I Am Not Yours
Added: Feb 20 2003
Viewed: 15704 times

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