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November 20th, 2009 - we have 234 poets, 8,023 poems and 17,902 comments.
Time to take a call by Nitish shubhankar
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Both want a shoulder to lean,
In process our head collides,
A gap, although very thin,
In process our heart suicides,
Both want tears to be shared
In process our emotions gets marred,
A void, although very small,
In process time came to take a call!


Added: on Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 1:01 pm | Viewed: 232 times, 2 so far today | Comments (37)

Comments

37 Responses to “Time to take a call”

  1. Nitish shubhankar Says:

    hey guys back again after a hitus of….hmmm……leave it

    usually i try 2 capture atleast 2 to 3 dimensions of life in one piece of work !
    a) my personal relation!
    b)my professional relation!
    c)universal relation !

    i know you guys will understand what i want to say actually……….wating for some discussion here !

  2. yann rolland Says:

    hello Nitish, nice to see you, I think your poem introduce the notion of distance between two persons, the shoulder means the physical relations, the gap symbolizes the permanent misunderstanding between two minds, and so the failure of hearts, the tears shared are like a too fusional state and this is also a failure,

    finally the call means that we can’t live without all the precedents failure and in a certain way that we are condamned to some sadness and void in our relations…

    this is my interpretation of your very well crafted and so suggestive poem…

    thanks

    yann

  3. Ida Werrett Says:

    Hi Nitish, Glad to see you back and contributing. Interestig write,
    Ida

  4. Nitish shubhankar Says:

    yann first of all nice to see you and ida !

    and your version of interpretation was quite interesting and true !!!!!……….this is beauty of poetry and music ……..which i think conveys human emotions…..which is universal in nature !……..

    but ida i wanted and expected more ellaborative comment from you !

    wish you all fighting life ahead !

  5. clematis Says:

    nitish welcome back!
    was wondering where you were - think of the devil! was going to write to you!

    its been raining here - saturday non-stop - dark cloudy & cool - great relief from the heat!
    but not raining as much as it should - i believe delhi has cooled down too & it was a real hot summer.

    i think we must be the only nation in the world so dependent on the weather for food water - everything!

    your poem does cover all three levels - i lkie your use of gap & void
    no matter how close the relationship - there’s always a gap - no matter how thin or wide - but there’s always a gap

    now that gap can become a void or it can work positively for you!
    gap - void - space!

  6. clematis Says:

    love that fighting life!

    you mean we should all be fighting fit

    or should we be fighting fit to fight?

    i like the latter! love to fight!

    reminds me havent fought with roy for quite sometime!

    hey roy - how about a round or two? its been ages…

  7. Roy Conant Says:

    Hey Nitish — Very elegantly conceived piece. I sure as hell would be wanting to shed some tears after a tete a tete like that! I mean, this has happened to me trying to keep my big nose from interfering with what promised to be a most delipcious (my coinage) encounter and our foreheads collided! Had to find a different way to turn side ways because I sure was not going to be a candidate for a nose-job… :-)

    Not having any of the kinds of relations you disucss, I have to rely on my imagination and I have to say I wish I could have imagined this!

    We move together — in Newtonian physics two bodies cannot occupy the same space. the heads collide. Good… But not good for desire…

    We create space — go apart. We’ve tried to come together (heads) and that didn’t work so we create space which also defeats desire…

    Shared Tears — Tears are a metaphor for emotion. Could be sad, could be glad. But they get on the canvas and muddy all the pastels. The one thing that does come together, doesn’t really after all and once more desire is defeated.

    So, there you have the triumvirate of intellect, physical space, and emotional all creating a void (desire not realized) and in time desire flags…

    Whether love or lust, Nitish, you have nailed it!

    Had been wondering where you’ve been and looking for your comments….

    :-)

  8. clematis Says:

    it’s not about a round or two - i think i spoke too soon or perhaps a fraction late

    but i think you have it all wrong - its really not about lust or desire flagging or increasing

    more about emotional upheavals:

    shoulder to lean on, heart suicides, tears etc.

    more emotional content here than anything else.

    of course you could argue that all emotions lead to desire/lust etc. but that’s only hypothetical

    i mean this could be about any relationship - child/parent…wife/husband …or lovers

    besides newton is quite outdated - einstein broke a lot of newton’s laws of motion - even gravity for that matter when rocket science was invented - what he didnt figure on was the escape velocity

    so that gap can actually act in your favor if taken positively

    no need for tears nitish

    in any relationship - it’s the escape velocity that counts & keeps the relationship ticking - closing of gaps would actually be suicide - onlythen would the hearts suicide!

    i think that heads colliding aludes more to the metaphysical - then just physical

    your explanation works more on a one dimensional level or two at the most

    not on a third or forth or more…

    nitish your poem has more depth then just 2 or 3

  9. Roy Conant Says:

    I’ve got one foot out the door…. ;-) Damn right it’s the escape velocity — the further away and the faster the better… ;-) But, I’m only going to reply in writing — two dimensions seems to be all I can muster….

    But, this is very much about relationships and relationships are about desire (whether platonic or not). I agree that it doesn’t have to be love or lust, just threw that in as an example — and a valid one at that… But, it is definitely about intense relationships…. While your comment that the gap - void - space can work positively how does that comport with the hearts suicide in Nitish’s piece? It doesn’t — In fact it requires a different composition altogether, at least to my way of thinking…

    This poem is very much about relationships gone sour, whatever the relationships may have been is irrelevant… And, what use is a metaphor if there is no relation to reality? The simple act of articulating a single relationship to the real word does not in-and-of-itself negate or prevent other interpretations — does it?

    Einstein elaborated on Newtonian physics. Newtonian physics still does a very good job of explaining our lack-a-day world.

    Nitish’s final lines give the lie to at least one interpretation of that trite adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” — like hell it does!!

  10. clematis Says:

    heads collide + hearts suicide + marred emotions = love suffocation

    last line: time comes to take a call - offer a solution perhaps?

    where does the cliche:“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” — figure?

    we all know: like hell it does!!

    i’m afraid you’re talking of outdated cliches & explanations

    your above comments could have worked at best in the late 17th or early 18th century.

  11. Roy Conant Says:

    So, we agree? It is about love? ;-)

    Well, no I don’t see the solution and can’t (i.e. shouldn’t have to) go outside the poem to find one. I have to take process in the final couplet in the same sense as in the preceding three — there is no clue in the poem that it should be otherwise. If Nitish is up to his usual bag of trikcs he’ll say we’re both right — but that would be wrong… LOL

    In whatever age a cliche originates, if it remains in common usage it is because it still conveys an element of truth/verity.

    Are you meaning to say nothing has come forward from the 17th or 18th which resonates today? I somewhat suspect not… :-)

  12. Roy Conant Says:

    I have just finished re-reading the poems (non-religious) of Jonson and Donne and find none that do not (properly delivered) resonate today. In fact, though Robert Herrick was not referring to either in the following poem, the poem is highly relevant…

    UPON JULIA’S CLOTHES.
    by Robert Herrick

    WHENAS in silks my Julia goes,
    Then, then, methinks, how sweetly flows
    That liquefaction of her clothes.

    Next, when I cast mine eyes and see
    That brave vibration each way free ;
    O how that glittering taketh me !

  13. clematis Says:

    that just proves my point - what an outdated silly poem:

    WHENAS…( SO OUTDATED!)in silks my Julia goes,
    Then, then, methinks, how sweetly flows
    That liquefaction of her clothes.

    O GOD! that’s just so so ancient!!

    Next, when I cast mine eyes and see
    That brave vibration each way free ;
    O how that glittering taketh me !

    haha! roy - is this where you dwellth be?
    i mean is this where you’re at?

    how sweetly flows that liquefaction of her clothes!!

    how the hell this poem become highly relevant beats me!! it really does - pray explain!!

    the brave vibration each way free….!! haha ha ha!!

    how does that glittering taketh thee - i would really like to know!

    relevant!! its as relevant as smelling salts!!

    i mean i do admire donne - for his argumentitive vibrancy - & of course the classics are your base for everything that follows - i never said nothing has come forward…etcetc. but that doesnt mean everything old is good or classic or relavent for that matter!

    but the example you quote as having relevance today - haha!!

    i’m afraid any which way you look at it & by any standard is absolutely outdated & obsolete!
    my worst fears are confirmed: you’re a sheep in tiger’s clothing! i’m sorry to say!

    what an awful example of relevance!

    believe me this not for mere fighting - i really mean it

  14. clematis Says:

    do add some modern poets to your reading list

  15. clematis Says:

    time to take a call!

    great title too nitish! very apt!

  16. clematis Says:

    i’m sorry - i didn’t mean to be so mean - but really how can you call this poem highly relevant?

  17. Roy Conant Says:

    First — it is Herrick, not Donne. It is written in a nearly modern English and has a superb phrase we could all do well to emulate “liquefaction of her clothes” — Incredible choice of words and a highly relevant subject — Most guys never stop watching girls. Highly relevant.

    And, besides, I had to give you something in which to sink your teeth because you were so thoroughly vanquished in the preceding discussion.

    No, I don’t know why you were being so mean either — but I figured you wouldn’t be satisfied if I did not rise to the bait. So, the willing victim, I…. LOL

  18. clematis Says:

    i know its not donne - i can see that quite clearly - was gving you my reasons for liking donne - he argues most reasonably - the most unreasonable of subjects - mostly to his objects of desire.

    nearly modern english - my foot! its anything but…

    yea i do concede some things never change - but to call it highly relevant - is quite irrelevant.

    thanks for being so considerate - i can tell you we are more than satisfied - let’s see what your next assignment is going to be - such a willing victim or rather slave!

    you’ve got it all wrong

    nitish why dont you explain the poem fully?

  19. Nitish shubhankar Says:

    hey you guys ……….extremly sorry for my late responce here ……..

    look its always difficult for me what you guys actually talk (yes ! clema and roy !)

    again sorry roy ! because i have to say that you both are right …..thats because …….yes ofcourse there are multiple dimensions of this poem according to clema !…….but that threshhold energy was given by difficult time in relationship……..

    As i have clearly mentioned earlier that it has mainly three dimensions……

    FIRST one- i will explain it line by line….its so simple….as i always say…….but its unmanegeble grey matter of you guys…….which instigate you people to complex up the simple issue…….

    Both want a shoulder to lean,
    In process our head collides,

    both want this relationship beacuse they love eachother and they exists as them and not as individuals !…….. they have worked for it…….beacuse love happens but to sustain it one has to put some effort……..thats just opposite in ideal cases……..but as we are humans having both heart and mind………our love is bound to be adulterated…….but degree of adultration is determined by the honestly of effort put to sustain love !……………..thats way i have written wants……and not both needed a relationship…………but while putting the effort……..due to lack of understanding ………..their head collides………because the love is yet nly in nescent stage……..which is conspicuos by its stark absence of absolute trust…………thier is trust but there is also mind !……..so its not yet absolute !…………………thats why i have written head collides……..its actually collision of individualim…………selfish self !………….desire/lust as roy says……………as a reault of which their is a gap ……..and so the interminglace of soul is bit difficult !………..and as this difficulty is geitng difficult to be resolved …….heart is geting frustrated and it suisides……………………

    both wants tears to be shared…………that means both want to share all kinds of feelings ……….be it tear of joy or tear of pain…….or hmmmmmm…..tear due to sand struk in eye !……lols…..kiding now !…………….

    but again due to misunderstanding sharing with expectation …the innocence of those tears/emotions gets marred ………..and again it results into increment of that thin gap into a conspicuous viod !…………..

    but i guess last line will be highly misunderstood ………..time to take a call ………doesnt mean atall that …….move ahead saperatly in life…………..but it represents finding other way …………which will work !………

    let me find out that this comment has reached its reader then i will other dimension of the poem ………..

    where is my old dude oxy !

  20. Roy Conant Says:

    Hey Nitish — Thanks! I’ve also been looking at your poem as two quatrains rather than four couplets which adds more dimension to the poem.

    Hey! And I don’t mind being right, because that means Clematis was wrong when she said I was wrong. I cal live with that… ;-)

    Salut!

    roy

  21. Nitish shubhankar Says:

    i wonder whether you have read my comment sincerly ………..because you havent contradicted any of my lines…..thats very unusual…….hey are you ray ! or someone has stolen his password !…………and the ellaborative next comment will hopefully prove me wrong !…….:)

    salut!

  22. Roy Conant Says:

    Nitish!- What are you doing up this time of day anyway? Yes. I have read your comment and think I may have more to say - but right now I have a tree house waiting for me to work on. MOre later…. SINCERELY! roy ;-)

  23. clematis Says:

    thanks for the explanation nitish - it seems quite clearly a simple love story with a universal over-view

    desire/lust as roy says - even tho roy says - doesn’t make its case felt here at all

    nitish - those who live in tree houses don’t know much - they havent really evolved from monkeys & hence the obsession with lust - they shouldnt really be throwing lust at those who have.

  24. clematis Says:

    evovled - i mean

  25. clematis Says:

    o heck! i mean evolved!!

  26. Nitish shubhankar Says:

    hello ray !

    usually i try to dig deep in the graveyard hours…….its easy then !

    but i guess everyone is satisfied with only one dimensional explanation……so i am droping the idea of putting something more from my side now !

  27. Nitish shubhankar Says:

    and clema when titans clash i prefer being silent !………because i think being a Indian you can understand the importance of a relationship thats “guru -shisya ” …………and me just like eklawya …….has accepted you guys as my dronachrya !…………..so wouldnt be saying who is right and who is wrong !……………

  28. Roy Conant Says:

    Hi Nitish — I think it’s always good in art (whatever that is) to provide the clues and let the audience/reader interpret them. Often, (too often I sometimes think) what I intend to write is completely different than what another comprehends. I’m okay with that. But, if there is something I wanted to communicate but didn’t — then I go back to my writing to see what changes I might make…

    Clematis is the Titaness! My powers pale in comparison…. ;-)

  29. clematis Says:

    more like the titanic than titan - in constant process of sinking - soon to be sunk!

    roy - that poem you couldnt remember the title: Unfaithful Lover

    & to refresh your memory it goes like this:

    Inconstant
    In constant search
    Of new thoughts
    And stimulation
    I am
    A faithful lover
    Only to
    My imagination.

    your imagination must be running riot at times!

    of course i know you’re only talking of your search for new thoughts & stimulation - so this is not strictly speaking about physical but intellectual lust.

    Are you ok with that?

  30. clematis Says:

    nitish - this is the same as ‘conflicts’ - the poem sounded very familiar
    how come you changed the title & wrote the same thing?

    you should speak your mind - don’t be scared of roy! his bark is…!

    roy - the poor boy is too scared to say you’re wrong!

    don’t worry nitish - he’s just an old monkey who lives in a tree & thinks what he thinks is IT! & doesnt realize not everybody shares his:

    Love’s Meaning

    Lovers in the season
    Know well
    Lust is the reason
    And Love
    The rationale

    besides he’s suffering from male mid-life crisis that must be now bordering on old age senility & can be excused for irrational thoughts & behaviour.

    that is not to say he can’t think!

  31. Roy Conant Says:

    Nitish — Why do you think Clematis picks on me so? Hmmm??? I think she must have missed my comment above: The simple act of articulating a single relationship to the real word does not in-and-of-itself negate or prevent other interpretations — does it?

    Anyone who would say it does is guilty of asserting the positive due to the lack of a negative — Kind of like Duh!bya and Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq — the mere lack of proof that they didn’t exist, became proof of their existence. C’mon Clematis, what are you boxing me about the ears for when it is your presumptive assumption which lacks weight and fashion (a paraphraisical quote of another highly relevant 17th century poet… ;-) )

    My timidity and lack of honor require no defense, Clematis has illustrated them so well — I think she’s still a little upset that I could turn “I do” into “I didn’t” - She actually misread that and said I made “I do” into “I don’t.” A little closer reading perhaps…..?

    Ummmm, strictly speaking if both are addressed both are implied — that is the fun of it, right?

    And, that would be the Male Mental Pause — where I take temporary leave of my senses. Goodness knows these exchanges sometimes require that!

  32. Roy Conant Says:

    Nitish — My apologies for taking up your space with this nonsense. And, now I’ve got to go — I hear footsteps of a stranger in my garden of verse and must perforce be forthwith away! Salut!

  33. clematis Says:

    good thing too - that temporary leave - your senses decide to take - everytime you’re here

    can’t imagine what we’d be subjected to… if they didn’t!

  34. clematis Says:

    “I hear footsteps of a stranger in my garden of verse and must perforce be forthwith away!”

    yea - time to take a call

    that’s exactly what nitish has been saying all along!

    but with your senses on leave….it’s not your fault

    with that i bid adieu
    i do

    got some of my own callings to attend.

    nitish - this has been fun - no apologies

    would still like your other dimensional explanations - or better still another poem - do make it about love - as i know you will - roy can convert it into lust & i can raise it to the cosmic spheres!

  35. Roy Conant Says:

    Cosmic and Space are paralellogisms (:-) ) — Beware the space cadet…. lol

  36. clematis Says:

    there’s nothing parallel about paralogism - check the dictionary!

    haha! just got a role in the new star trek!

  37. Roy Conant Says:

    As my father always used to say, “Choose the proper tool for the job.” “the dictionary” is an unnecessary tool, I might muddle my thoughts but never my speech. Moreover, “the dictionary” either designates a general concept rather than a specific object or is an imprecise collective noun both of which invalidate the argument. Thus, the paralogism is yours, not mine. I’m hoping your new role will not be as ballast… ;-)

    Parallelogisms is probably a new word, constructed to fit the occasion and is quite self-explanatory if deconstructed with “some tools.” :-)

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