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I
Slipping in soft mud,
slippery as eels, memory
dives deep in deceptive
comfort. Cornering smooth
round stones, stopping short;
stepping on jagged ends:
does memory bleed?
Or cover long distances,
bare feet burnt, in search
of an oasis to cool its heels?
Or does it crash headlong
into blind alleys, trying to take
a right turn at the wrong time:
does memory lose its way?
Or does it zip across the skies,
breaking barriers of light, sound,
ending in a sonic boom? Does it
roar like thunder, streak like
lightning - running naked,
dying to fall?
Does it come out on full moon
nights, a hungry predator –
does memory kill?
Or simmer in a cauldron?
Throw in it a brain or two,
coiled & fused, watch the
lid tap-dancing; flying off
the handle. Memory erupts:
hot molten - cooling to form -
new territories.
Does it lie forgotten unused -
a broken chair, gathering fluffs
of dust, or does it enter the
heart of flowers, or sit like clouds,
one on top of the other, bulging
in soft blue; bursting in torrents
or gentle rain?
Where goes memory’s long
winding lane?
And is there a place for loss?
II
Beyond the interred bones,
the worms, the rising smoke,
memory sits curled - an old
mangy, mongrel dog, dry; crusty.
Watching the sun sink in pale yellow:
memory oozes – a dying sunset.
Does memory end or linger on?
In eternal limbo, weightless,
in vacuumed spaces, suspended
in a free-fall? Is it shrinking
or ever expanding across
the cosmos?
III
Wherever you look,
you will find me: I will
leave you with nothing
but memories.
I am everywhere, I was.
What I am today
you will never know:
I will remain forever false.
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Comments (20)
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Hey Clematis — Internet went down last night, think it’s the 100 plus temps and consequent draws on energy we’re having…
Anyway, am happily following the path of memory and am, as always, amazed at your use of metaphor, simile, and and analogy — all of which for most of my life have escaped me (which explains why you find so few of any in my compositions and which probably means, unlike time, I’m pretty linear in mind and execution). The twists and turns of this are like the convolutions of the brain, synaptic snapping questions — the signposts of a convoluted path which bends back upon itself, almost, before it suddenly switches back in crackling ligtening-like hairpin spins taking another tangent. I’ll get back to the poem in a moment, but wonder about this section — wouldn’t it work better if these lines followed the conceit of questions which precede and follow?
Or simmer in a cauldron?
Throwing in it a brain or two,
coiled & fused, watching the
lid tap-dancing; flying off
the handle? Erupting
hot molten - cooling to form -
new terrain?
Okay, I also substituted terrain for territories, but territories works just fine — especially if one is speaking of volcanic islands in a salten sea…
Now, I gotta go finish reading to find what wonders await after the molten cooling eruption — maybe I’ll take a drag or two on a cigarette first….
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
“And is there a place for loss?” Damn nice question — would it be an empty place fraught with aught? :-0
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Grammatical question: you write: Does memory end or lingers on? should lingers be linger?
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Ah, but it is the mind and memory which transcend the time-space void allowing us to leap beyond yet return (Whitman — Never quoted him here before — with a few exceptions I don’t exalt him in the same way academics do — and, funny, but I think he would like that better…
) which makes your final assertion true. You will be forever false as “forever” always connotes the present when moving along the time-space continuum (ugh — hate the thought that it is a continuum!). So, today you are never what you were or will be in memory.
My sons used to ask me why I never took pictures ot the places to which I travelled — My response was and is, I want to remember things as I imagine them, not as they were.
Thanks for a marvelous ride down memory lane with a fitting summation that leads me to the conclusion that things are never as they seem, but always as they might have been or might still be.
One final stylistic question — personally, I think “seek” connoting a more ephemeral, less concrete quest might work better than “look” here: III — “Wherever you look,”
July 3rd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Someplace I have somethihing I wrote contrasting “memory” with “recall” which I should find and post. It is buried in my memory chest (day-pack) of adventures in Canada along with a ballad with this refrain” Je veux seulement chante ton nom, I only want to sing your name, Take it home, All the way home, In a song.
I’ll see what I can dig up in my closet of memories….
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm
“Does memory end or linger on.” A question I have asked myself many times. I even wrote a poem about it
that I will post if I can find it. I don’t think it packs the punch of your well thought out and truly unique offering
but it is my own thoughts on similar matters.
Ida
July 4th, 2009 at 4:01 am
Hello Clematis, your poem has greatness, the poetic questioning about memories reveals uncertainties of our destinies….We only survive in memories is appropriate I think except if soul exists….Who knows ? I like the persuasive way of the ending, nobody can know you in the present…This is mysterious and true….Who are we ? are we now or would we exist in memories ? I think that wa live now and will survive in memories only if we live and act now…..What i hope is reading your new poems each day and not going on a site to remember someone, it is sad…. I think we all are false….Thank you for the very relevant and concrete and artful poem…
have a nice day
yann
July 5th, 2009 at 4:30 am
My comments, being in the present, are false therefor silence….
July 6th, 2009 at 2:38 am
o no they’re not false! but i was involved in so much exemplary homespun dedication its not funny! haha! what a gem of an expression! still cant get over your poem! it is funny!
fist of all thanks a ton for so much exemplary dedication - more than i expected!
linear thinking is supposed to be damn good & accurate - so i dont think you need to have any reservations on your writing on that score!
i’m quite amazed at your analysis! goes to show when you’re inclined to give your time - you do a damn good job! whether its political satire or otherwise!
convolutions of the brain is right! i love the turn & twists of the convoluted path & i’m afraid my brain doesnt keep to the straight & narrow but wanders in all sorts of crazy directions as you can see here.
really like the changes you’ve suggested - the whole poem is such a question mark - the only thing that stopped me was the number of question marks - one too many…
memory is loss - hence the question - i liked that too
thanks for pointing the error - was wondering if linger should be linger’s or lingers or linger - made the correction - as you know spelling & at times grammar eludes.
‘look’ was actually written in a literal sense - wherever you look you will find me - as i was
i got the idea from this article i read about a star which had become a black hole - but one could still see it - as it was billions of light years away - so the concept: if you look at the heavens/ the sky - you see things actually as they were a few light years away - even the nearest star - as it was a few minutes/hours back - depending on its distance - & the time light takes to travel from that star to us.
in essence even the sky is actually giving us a false picture - look at me as i was - what i am today…etc…
the cosmos is always so fascinating & limitless - the ever expanding skies
even if we land on a star billions of light years away …we’ll still be looking at stars billions of light years away…
anyway the whole mystery of time & space is such a fascinating mystery
wanted to encapsulate the concept with memory: the skies are the finest example of memory - what was
what truth do we talk about? even the heavens lie!
the last stanza should read:
Look at me as I was
What I am today
you will never know:
I will remain forever false.
July 6th, 2009 at 2:51 am
thanks ida - for reading & posting - how similar!! i do so love you to stop by & comment!
as roy so rightly pointed out - signposts of a convoluted path! that might account for some of the punch!
loved your thoughts!
July 6th, 2009 at 3:31 am
thanks yann - i loved your comments!
i wonder where that phrase came from: heavens don’t lie!
what a false statement! i think you’re a teacher of maths & must be well versed in physics too:
doesnt it take about 8 min for light to travel from the sun to the earth?
the speed of light being 186,000 miles per second
distance from earth to sun: 93,000,000
so we’re actually seeing the sun as it was 8 min. back - as it was = memory
so imagine the kind of picture we’re getting of planets billions of light years away -
we might actually be seeing things that don’t exist - hence the phrase i’m seeing things!!
so if the heavens can lie - who are we? to hanker & hanker about truth
then the question: what is truth?
as einstein said : everything is relative.
so i’m wondering if there’s a fifth or sixth dimensional sphere overlooked by the physicists, where:
memories lie!
July 6th, 2009 at 5:43 am
Hi Clematis I am overwhelmed by the concrete metaphor of rthe lying heavens, you proved a very poetic analyze and that’s the truth, poetic analyzes are truth…
have a nice day
yann
July 6th, 2009 at 6:48 am
thanks yann - perhaps you can do a poem on: the lying heavens! i love the metaphor!!
July 13th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Clematis — You MUST see the title change on the Sarah Palin Poem… LOL
July 13th, 2009 at 5:34 am
hilarious!
new turn of phrase - girlilla!!
July 14th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Clematis — changed title and a couple words. Much better now: http://www.americanpoems.com/members/roy-conant/ruminant-reflexion/
July 17th, 2009 at 4:34 am
God, this is so sad and all over it true.
Does memory bleed?
And then the weeping blood of memories flows thru everything you have encaptured and described with livid, clarity.
I am always inspired by your works, Clematis.
I immediately dash off to pick the top off one of my memories, examine it and write it up.
Thank you so much.
We are our memories but we leave for others too.
Gosh, this is so powerful and multi-faceted.
love Deb x
July 23rd, 2009 at 3:19 am
Alas, I’ve come in so late, my comments can be no more than a whimper in the presence of greatness! This poem moves me to wonder, and the urge to tears—memory is everything and nothing. I truly appreciate your keen perception of the fact that what we see in the night sky is in a distant unattainable, unknowable past, and that is also true within the wee confines of our brains, where all memory—of things great and small—persists, then fade away . . . This is an impressive masterpiece, clematis, and by your leave, I will format it, print it out and frame it, and hang it on the wall where other great works of art adorn my humble walls.
I am sorry it took me forever to get to read this poem. Thanks so very much for sharing it.
art
July 27th, 2009 at 4:46 am
thanks deb!! glad you enjoyed! makes me real happy!!
thanks art - you’re always more than kind!!
whimper in the presence of greatness….i think that should be said of my humble offerings….that it could move you in the ways it did… & I would so love to hang on your wall…it would be a great honor..sir!
your praise leaves me more then ever
your
humble servant
July 27th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
How can a princess be the humble servant of the court jester!
thanks,clematis, I am indeed sorry I didn’t get around to the poem sooner. It was during that period of extended absence, and I missed some very wonderful poetry and comments. I have really made great strides in dealing with excess baggage in my life, and I will remain involved in this art I love so much.
Best wishes,
art