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I fear I’ve become a mirage
walking across mirrors in waves
I ripple when disturbed.
I’m no oasis in the desert
no palm bearing fruit.
I’m the water that dries
long after the river
is gone in cracks upon
your face, the dry ocean bed,
the smooth round stone
you hold in your palm
in search of a reflection.
I’ve escaped myself.
Flowing out like quick silver
slithering sliding soundless
weightless without form or
substance I melt & rise
like heat-haze I appear
at a distance when near
nowhere I find myself
everywhere.
Have you seen me have
you seen have you please:
see me. You point to the ground
no footprints not even a dent
of soft instep smoke has no legs
you laugh & run your fingers
through a handful of dust
it rises in smoke:
at last!
Insubstantial!
As you were
meant to be.
Perhaps now
we can meet:
me an illusion
you a mirage
afraid not
when you
come I’m
gone
see
me
when
I’m
not
|
Comments (39)
April 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Hello Clematis,this poem is dark but develop something true, the recognition of oneself by the others or by a special one, or is it an illusion, some kind of mirror of horror….The emotion of the poem is sensible and deftly shared through pertinent words…As always you are very significant as a person, as a poet….Thank you for sharing.
yann
April 6th, 2009 at 11:37 am
This is beautiful. Your poetry stirs and swells - I am truly moved.
April 7th, 2009 at 3:22 am
thank yann - language it seems is no barrier to writing or understanding - english is not my mother tongue either - nor for many others here. - & it works to our advantage! we break all the rules! i’m amazed with some of the writing - so original & powerful. its the feeling & the truth of that feeling above all else - punctuation grammar etc. - it’s the finding of your own voice.
the ‘you’ & the ‘I’ is also the divine & the worshiper - trying to merge - once the worshiper has no form it can merge with the divine - also it is loss of all ego - that’s how the spiritualists say you can merge with the divine.
there’s actually no horror in losing the self to something else - love for that matter.
April 7th, 2009 at 3:26 am
thanks mrg for reading.
i’m a great admirer of your writing - the way you use language is quite amazing & the feeling so powerful - it’s an experience to read!
April 7th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
hey celma………tum hamesa se hi aaisa likhti thi y umr ne y tajurba diya hai tumhein !………..jo bhi hai bahoot aacha hai !
nd i m simply reading this poem aloud , so that it can rebound on all walls !
so wil leave comment latter on ……
April 8th, 2009 at 4:26 am
I think this may be my favorite of your poems, Clematis. It just speaks to me in a way I can’t explain. Perhaps its the way I feel
sometimes…like a mirage.
Ida
April 8th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Wow! This is a remarkable poem,infact breath-taking! The last words :
Perhaps now
we can meet:
me an illusion
you a mirage
afraid not
when you
come I’m
gone
……just shakes my soul away…Amazing poem!
I think you’re waiting for someone and you believe that until that person comes you wont be there..like in plain words you wont be there for him/her then…I’m not sure,but that’s how I interpret.
see
me
when
I’m
not
A more generalized view of this poem can be that when we are there for people whom we love..they treat us as insignificant or rathar nothing at all…and when we are gone…they might try to search for us…our love and companionship that was always there for them but as humans we move on nd try to forget about the things that are associated with bad memories.
April 9th, 2009 at 4:10 am
memoona - thank you so much! i love your interpratation!
the concept of illusion & mirage i tried to merge with some divine entity - after all we don’t see him either - the worshipier & worshiped - becoming one at last - when the worshiper himself/herself becomes a hanful of dust or smoke - insubstantial - both the beings can now meet.
on a different level your interpratation works fine!
thanks for reading!
April 9th, 2009 at 4:13 am
see
me
when
I’m
not
can also be the voice of the divine! that’s what He tries to tell us doesn’t He?
April 10th, 2009 at 12:58 am
I’m thinking you and Niels Bohr would not have been boorish companions! Quite a quantum romance, for sure…
April 10th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Which of you is the quirky quark, eh?
April 13th, 2009 at 1:35 am
nitish - hamesha se hi aisi thi - thodi pagal - thodi nahi bahut! good to see you again!
April 13th, 2009 at 1:36 am
ida - thanks for reading - i’m glad i struck a cord somewhere - perhaps a wrong one!
April 13th, 2009 at 2:07 am
roy - i’m so so glad to see you back! i was really afraid i’d driven you away - i’m glad you’re made of sterner stuff! all that existentialism i thought blew you away out of existence! even wrote a guilt-ridden missive & left it in your boudoir! guys have them too i suppose. i’m greatly relieved to be absolved!
niels bohr? wont even bother googling him - but wasnt he a physicist? split the atom or something? quantum theory? quantum romance hmmmm that gives me a lot of ideas - i wish i could understand all that stuff - could combine the two - the theory & the romance - the physicist poet instead of the quack poet.
mirage is def female - you can see it in regal splendor - once approached it vanishes - normally produced by reflection of light in the sky - like sheets of water in the desert or a full-blown oasis!
illusion is def male: a false mental image produced by misinterpretation of truth - of things that actually exist!
April 13th, 2009 at 2:33 am
Clematis — Bohr, father of quantum physics of which one of the principle dictums is when looking for a particle one either knows when or where it will appear, but not both, famously caused A. Einstein to assert God doesn’t play dice with the universe. Mirage and illusion fit nicely in Bohr’s dictum…
April 13th, 2009 at 2:40 am
Now wouldn’t that be a contraction — existence cancelled by existentialists!
April 13th, 2009 at 2:43 am
oops! not contraction, contradiction — though contraction would aptly describe the cancellation…
April 13th, 2009 at 3:04 am
explanation not required - i did get the drift
in a sense as usual you’ve said something profound without knowing it!
existentialists do cancel existence!
April 13th, 2009 at 3:07 am
Damn! One day I suppose they’ll get me too….
April 13th, 2009 at 3:36 am
already have
April 13th, 2009 at 4:08 am
I’m dead… in the water after this…
April 13th, 2009 at 9:47 am
i am still reading it ………..have understood something, i guess………..that …hmmmmm……..hmmmm……..sorry i am reading it again !
April 14th, 2009 at 2:56 am
have you finished reading? when are you going to say something?
i’ll be coming to delhi later in the month - what’s the weather like? mumbai is getting hotter & hotter.
April 14th, 2009 at 3:07 am
same here…………..when are you coming………….it wil be my honour 2 meet u !……….
and….hmm……..i still reading…….but whatever i have infered till now is ………..you must be searching some cosmic reality !…something like a web made by self…….and then the struggle to break it…….making web was subconsious and breaking it consiously ……….pardon if my childish brain is wrong……..which it is ! actually very prone to !
April 14th, 2009 at 3:18 am
no that’s great - your interpretations are very interesting - & not off the mark at all!
i still dont know where i’ll be staying delhi distances are worse than bombay - & all the roads dug up & the traffic!
April 17th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Hey Clematis,the concept of illusion & mirage you tried to merge with some divine entity is simply creditable.Your interpretation of poem is so true.Since we can’t see the divine so we often tend to forget him.Being humans,we have to feel for the presence of divine existence and only believing in him we can go far in life.However,this concept of believing in divine existence is fading away in today’s world where everyone has built his/her own perceptions towards reality.And thanks alot for liking my interpretation.
Again I must admit,I really love your poem.Every time I get on your page the title of this poem grabs my attention and so I have to read it again.
April 17th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
So here I am clematis, the Johnny come lately, dragging his frame across the vast, unfathomable sands of time, and too little space! I am accustomed to “self-delusion” but thou hast introduced another warp in the space-time fabric—”self-illusion”, brilliant! I am jealous! Who but a genius would ever discover the face in the mirror is (in the end) an illusion, a mirage arising from the heat waves of deprivation upon an arid desert of dubious reality?! I will read this again and again, and I will sink deeper and deeper into the pit of doubt. Perhaps that is good, that I should not think I really am what I think I am or, for that matter, what I want to be? Oh, crass existentialist that I am! Harboring delusions wrapped in illusions without the possibility of any rational conclusion! Alas!
art
April 21st, 2009 at 1:41 am
Thanks memoona - i’m sorry for sounding like a teacher - but that’s what i was for a couple of years - & I guess it always remains. Cell phones are useful instruments very bad for the English language - as long as you restrict it for mes. it’s fine!
April 21st, 2009 at 1:59 am
you’re not the only one art - harboring delusions wrapped in illusions without the possibility of rational conlusion! well said friend!
your comments are no lesser works of genius - perhaps more! that’s why we await eagerly!
i am
not
what
i think
i am
what i
think
i’m not
what
i am
is the kind of stuff to drive you nuts - there’s the one & only person good at this - who think’s he is not what he’s not but what he is - o no i’m not getting into this - crosses the eyes & mind both.
but yea the concept of illusion delusion & mirage - can be both an elusion & evasion.
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 am
Hey Clematis - I’m thinking you crossed too many eyes and dotted the tease…. I am most definitely NOT an existentialist…. But, I couldn’t resist that… Love it! Love Art’s comment. Love your response! How can you stay mad at me, dammit?
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 am
BTW — I changed the title….
April 27th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Further to Art’s comment — Better than Naricissus & Goldmund (sp?). If we had had a Narcissus who recognized the illusion, we may never had had a 20th century holocaust… Brilliant!
April 27th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Herr Herman Hesse could have learned a thing or three from you!!
April 27th, 2009 at 8:29 am
mad at you? what an illusion!
loved the story of narcissus - esp. the discussions btw the two - must read it again - which is the better life - cloistered in the monastery or the agonies & ecstasies of a life really lived loved lost
have you read steppenwolf? another great book
April 28th, 2009 at 2:27 am
Yeah. I’ve read steppen…, too — have a bit of trouble getting past the not-so-innocently idealized germanic identity so prevalent and which was more than just incidental as a foundation for the nazi’s blonde, blue-eyed perversion of Aryan ancestry. I know I’m about to be roasted for this, but I’m not at all sure that the author wasn’t a deliberate white supremacist (sp?)…. Have the same problem with T.S.E., Joseph Campbell, Mircea Eliade, and Henry Ford, among others…
April 28th, 2009 at 3:33 am
strangely i dont see that white supremecy in hesse at all - but i’ve not read enough of him - to me he appears more primeval tribal instinctive - with all his man vs beast theories.
i’m in no mood for any roastings at all - fight has gone out of me for the moment.
if you’re alive & kicking i just left a mes. & would be most grateful for an early reply.
April 29th, 2009 at 2:21 am
Where did you leave the message — just returned from an Indian dinner with a wonderful plum & cashew dessert. I’m whipped and need to be up in 5 hours so may not stay upm long — checked my email, comments on my posts — don’t see a message…
April 29th, 2009 at 2:49 am
on email - thank god you didnt get it
May 6th, 2009 at 3:52 am
Okay — I’ll check sometime tomorrow. Good night!