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by: Rachel Simmons
Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 302.5408342
Format: Bargain Price
Label: Harvest Books
Manufacturer: Harvest Books
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 320
Publication Date: April 01, 2003
Publisher: Harvest Books
Sales Rank: 348941
Studio: Harvest Books
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Editorial Review:
Product Description:
When boys act out, get into fights, or become physically aggressive, we can't avoid noticing their bad behavior. But it is easy to miss the subtle signs of aggression in girls--the dirty looks, the taunting notes, or the exclusion from the group-that send girls home crying.
In Odd Girl Out, Rachel Simmons focuses on these interactions and provides language for the indirect aggression that runs through the lives and friendships of girls. These exchanges take place within intimate circles--the importance of friends and the fear of losing them is key. Without the cultural consent to express their anger or to resolve their conflicts, girls express their aggression in covert but damaging ways. Every generation of women can tell stories of being bullied, but Odd Girl Out explores and explains these experiences for the first time.
Journalist Rachel Simmons sheds light on destructive patterns that need our attention. With advice for girls, parents, teachers, and even school administrators, Odd Girl Out is a groundbreaking work that every woman will agree is long overdue.
Amazon.com Review:
There is little sugar but lots of spice in journalist Rachel Simmons's brave and brilliant book that skewers the stereotype of girls as the kinder, gentler gender. Odd Girl Out begins with the premise that girls are socialized to be sweet with a double bind: they must value friendships; but they must not express the anger that might destroy them. Lacking cultural permission to acknowledge conflict, girls develop what Simmons calls 'a hidden culture of silent and indirect aggression.'
The author, who visited 30 schools and talked to 300 girls, catalogues chilling and heartbreaking acts of aggression, including the silent treatment, note-passing, glaring, gossiping, ganging up, fashion police, and being nice in private/mean in public. She decodes the vocabulary of these sneak attacks, explaining, for example, three ways to parse the meaning of 'I'm fat.'
Simmons is a gifted writer who is skilled at describing destructive patterns and prescribing clear-cut strategies for parents, teachers, and girls to resist them. 'The heart of resistance is truth telling,' advises Simmons. She guides readers to nurture emotional honesty in girls and to discover a language for public discussions of bullying. She offers innovative ideas for changing the dynamics of the classroom, sample dialogues for talking to daughters, and exercises for girls and their friends to explore and resolve messy feelings and conflicts head-on.
One intriguing chapter contrasts truth telling in white middle class, African-American, Latino, and working-class communities. Odd Girl Out is that rare book with the power to touch individual lives and transform the culture that constrains girls--and boys--from speaking the truth. --Barbara Mackoff
Customer Reviews
Average Rating: 
Rating:  - A must read for parents and teachers
Odd Girl Out- the Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons is a MUST-READ book for teachers and parents of girls. "Girls can be mean" is a common statement that is made when observing girls interacting with each other. Odd Girl Out helps identify why girls can be so mean without the typical outward signs of anger. Rachel Simmons provides an illustration of the many alternative aggressions that typically "nice and sweet" girls use as they grow-up. After reading this book, as ... Read More
Rating:  - Not so great
I bought this book a few years ago and had to force myself to finish it. It's definitely not as great as it is made out to be. A lot of it is common sense, and Simmons repeats things over and over as the book goes on. There are a few good little anecdotes, but other than that this just isn't worth it.
Rating:  - must read for youth workers and parents
i'm not sure how i missed this book. it was published in 2002, and is absolute must reading for EVERY youth worker (male or female) and every parent of a girl.
it's a tough read and an easy read. easy, because simmons is an excellent writer and fills the book with real stories of real girls. tough, because the real girls she profiles reveal a profile of aggression (almost universally experienced) that is so painful, so destructive, it's difficult to read (especially if you care about teenage ... Read More
Rating: - A Must-Read Book 4 Adolescent Girls and Parents
Every girl from age 1O up and her parent should read this book so they understand what is in store for them in middle, junior high and high school. Rachel Simmons beautifully describes the unique bully culture of girls present on every school campus. It is so important for girls to understand this phenomenon so they are prepared and don't unknowingly become victims.If you have a daughter...it is a must-read for a parent. Also add to your bookshelf, Bully-Proofing Children: A Practical, Hands-On Guide to Stop ... Read More
Rating: - EYE OPENER
This book is truly an eye opener and surely will help cast light on the subject of female aggression which does not end in high school. I was drop-dead gorgeous from 15-45 years old with a heart to match always ready to be nice with other girls or women (depending on the time frame). I was brought up in an upper-middle class neighborhood where I was very sheltered in a very exclusive high school. For the most part, aggression in girls was non-existent, except for male bullies, which were hardly something to ... Read More
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