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by: Carlton Mellick III, Kevin, L. Donihe
List Price: $11.95Amazon.com's Price: $10.75 You Save: $1.20 (10%)Prices subject to change. Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
Binding: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 813
EAN: 9780976249825
ISBN: 0976249820
Label: Eraserhead Press
Manufacturer: Eraserhead Press
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 176
Publication Date: March 10, 2005
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
Sales Rank: 509143
Studio: Eraserhead Press
Related Items:
Editorial Review:
Product Description:
You're on the run from the cops and need to disappear somehow. Luckily you happen across a secret ocean in the middle of Wyoming. An undiscovered world of pirates and zombies that, according to maps, couldn't possibly exist. But here it is, a vast white sea that is made of some kind of greasy blubber substance instead of water. To escape, you must join the crew of one of the two ships at the dock. The first is a strange black cube-shaped vessel called The Eye World and the other is a totally punk rock pirate ship called The Rotten Sore. Which will you take?
If you board The Eye World, turn to page 21. If you take The Rotten Sore, turn to page 22. But choose wisely! You could find yourself screwing demonic faeries and a cyborg dominatrix on top of a pile of treasure, or you could end up as lunch for a team of floating telepathic walrus heads.
Ocean of Lard is a parody of that classic interactive fiction series that you adored as a kid, now filled to the brim with enough f*cked up humor and surreal perversions to satisfy you as an adult.
Customer Reviews
Average Rating: 
Rating:  - don't expect to make it back to shore with your mind in one piece
(Ash Lomen)
A Choose your own adventure book for adults. This one contains a runaway pederast, a Pirate hunting for feces, a sexy Frog-Girl (who puts out BTW), horrible endings, high adventure and of course... an ocean of Lard.
Set Sail... but don't expect to make it back to shore with your mind in one piece.
Rating:  - Crap I died!
I've never read a choose your own adventure book before. This book is written in second person, so you are the star of the show and get to make decisions at pivotal points about what happens. Each decision jumps you to a different page where the story continues based on your choice, because of this, you jump around a lot and would never want to read this book in order from cover to cover.
Your character starts out by seeking some out of the way deserted town while on the run from ... Read More
Rating:  - Ech.
You know, it's a cute gimmick and all, with the "Choose Your Own Adventure" tie-in, but the writing just wasn't very good. It's something a 13-year-old may enjoy...lots of maggots and poop and pus. Other than that, there wasn't much to redeem it. Kudos for originality, but I was hoping for just a bit more substance.
Rating: - Excellent Parody and Great Story
"Ocean of Lard" is a parody of the Choose Your Own Adventure/Destiny books we read when we were young. Over the top writers Carlton Mellick and Kevin Donihe team up to provide various different trails you can take to various different endings.
A man on the run from the cops finds a secret ocean of lard and has to join up with pirates in order to get away. This book pulls out all of the stops... There are bugs and pickle/monkey things, zombies, cyborg dominatrix, and much more! "The ... Read More
Rating: - Repugnant, hilarious, vile, extreme, obscene, and horribly fun!
'Ocean Of Lard' is a rude parody of those old "build your own story" books. You're a child molester on the run from the cops, when you make your way to a strange place alongside an ocean filled with lard. As one of three original choices (board The Eye World ship, board The Rotten Sore ship, or stay in Pirate Town) branches off, you will find more and more choices along the way. (if you want to do This, turn to page XX, if you want to do That, turn to page XX) Personally, I enjoyed The Eye World ... Read More
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